|
|
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
|
|
|
You know...
Life is beautiful. I need to remind myself of this more.
This weekend is the perfect end to just two weeks of rebirth.
Feel what it's like to be new.
( Everything Looks Perfect from Far Away )
I will soon start updating in a new journal.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) malachipena
I think it's time I killed Tab.
No, this journal won't be deleted. I plan on using this for a project sometime in the future. Plus, I like it for the memeories. I want to keep them all, good and bad.
But please, comment here if you want to be added as a friend to my list.
I'm starting straight, I'm starting clean, so wish me luck.
Godspeed and Goodnight.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Friday, August 19th, 2005
|
| Time: | 2:12 pm. |
| Mood: |  complacent. | | Music: | The Doors - Crystal Ship. |
|
Happy birthday, Merv.
Now you can buy porn and cigarettes.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
|
|
|
Allright.
It's time for a change.
No more fucking emo me.
I hate being overly-sensitive and emotional.
It motherfucking sucks.
I'm also going to see if I can e-mail an Admin and turn this journal "Friends Only."
Yes, until I've turned every entry friends only, it'll still be the way it is.
More later.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I'm back.
And my parents are gone for four days.
Call me up while I'm still feelin' good.
I wanna party.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, August 4th, 2005
|
|
|
I'm leaving tomorrow for Texas at 06:00.
For everyone I told, not one of you has attempted to contact me to at least say "Goodbye."
And if you actually DO do it, it's only because you saw this and felt bad.
You don't care.
You're not even gonna notice I'm gone.
Good fuckin' riddence.
I hate you all.
EDIT:
Jeff called me. To smoke pot.
Well, I guess one call is better than none.
|
|
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
|
|
|
I'm feeling pretty good, so far.
My sister just made a cake with peanut-butter filling.
After eating it, I feel like I have to shit all my organs.
It's just THAT good.
I was gonna rant, (not about me, just about how patriotic people are idiots,) but I'm feeling too good too.
Well, my stomach ain't feeling good, but I am.
Weird, I know.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
|
|
|
Why is everyone dying lately?
What's so great about death?
Stop dying.
I could only imagine how Noel must feel...
Noel is the artist that insipred me to draw.
I look up to him.
And now his sister is dead.
Life is funny like that.
Those of us who are souless just keep living...
While the more promising ones die off quick.
Ain't that a B.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Hmph.
I'm allright, I'm allright.
I always am.
Just wish I had someway to get out of this house...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I need to get out of this house.
But there's no one to run to.
I need to escape.
But there's nowhere to run.
So I'll just die here...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I hate my father.
I wish death upon him
Hope he dies, hope he dies.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, July 30th, 2005
|
|
|
Not worthy enough to be a cheap fuck.
That's me.
Even Jeff has himself a girl.
All those I know can survive perfectly well on their own, and they have lovers.
Even when I work at something, I don't get it.
Not worthy enough to be a cheap fuck.
Don't try to consol me.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
She just doesn't get it.
Well, she is stupid.
But that's no excuse.
She probably dosen't know this is about her.
I'm guessing she reads this, and I hope she'll get it.
But she won't.
I give up.
You're on your own, honey.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I'm doin' good.
I'm following the steps, and I'm changing.
I don't drink anymore. Hell, I'm not even brave enough to even try again after that night.
I'm being more social, rather than hoping someone would come to me and ask me how I'm doing.
Because people don't do that.
So I'm loosening my grip on the need for affection.
There are tons of people who are unloved who leave perfectly normal lives.
I can't blame my lack of affection as the reson for me being fucked up.
Few are lucky enough to have even known love.
Even fewer can keep it.
So those of the few, consider yourselves extrememly fucking lucky.
I wish you two long and happy lives.
As for me?
Hell, I'll find something, someday.
Nothing lasts forever if you don't want it to.
I am not who I used to be.
If that's good or bad, we'll find out.
But I am not who I used to be.
No, I am not.
"So close to dying, so I can finally start living."
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
|
| Time: | 10:48 pm. |
| Mood: |  bored. | | Music: | Mogwai - Chocky. |
|
Muthafuckas.
I wish I wasn't so goddamn bored.
Hell.
I've been complaing a lot about being alone, but not doing anything about it.
Maybe I should do something soon...
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Comp's up and working again.
Yeaayuh.
I saw The Island.
I like the deaths, they were cool.
Could've used gore and blood, but it was still really good.
EDIT, MOTHERFUCKER:
Why am I on your friends list? Comment and tell me. Then post this in your journal. Balls.
|
|
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
My stupid retarded fucking stupid-ass sister is fucking up MY fucking computer.
Goddamn stupid fucking cunt.
Fuckin' interent is slow as fucking hell now, and she dosen't give a shit.
She just sayes "Oops, I'm sorry," and goes back to not caring.
I fucking hate her that stupid, stupid STUPID fucking twat cunt.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Meme:
On iTunes
Copy your 25 most played tracks
No Cheating!
I'm suprised none of my Bright Eyes is up there. Or the Pink Floyd, I listen to that a lot.
But I like to listen to fast-paced shit when I work out, which explains a lot of the MSI.
I'd say it's an accurate list, except for the fact it has no Bright Eyes.
I guess I just listen to it a lot on my iPod, then.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I can't stay angry when I listen to the Left Rights.
Y'all should know Mindless Self Indulgence by now, right?
The Left Rights is a side project of Jimmy Urine and Steve Righ.
It's so fuckin' retarded, I love this shit so much.
I can't help but laugh.
( Here's a Song. )
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
|
|
|
Step 3: Don't Break Down
This is the hardest.
As of this moment, I'm doing my best to choke back tears.
Today is just an endless baragge of everyone treating me like shit.
(Except Heather and Nate. And Sophal.)
What the fuck is y'all's problem?
Bad day? Your mom yelling at you again? Friend ditched you?
All of you fuckers just want attention.
Today was hard, because my sister has just been plain fucking mean and ugly to me for no reason.
In front of my extended step-family. Making me look stupid.
Then I tried to tell Jen what happened to me, and she's just "in a bad mood."
Well, fuck you.
Don't break down, don't break down...
I also said not to do rants. I'm breaking Step 2.
But I have some things to say.
First of all, fuck you. Take a fucking moment to be nice in your life, would you?
It wouldn't fucking kill you, you fuckers.
And maybe you'd feel better about yourselves.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
happy.
content.
calm.
betrayed.
chipper.
uncomfortable.
cynical.
waiting.
enraged.
lonely.
hopeful.
cheerful.